Author Archives: Natasha Shapiro, ATR-BC, LCAT

Can you take this text that I’ve written and just organize it and summarize it and not write down solutions, just organize my thoughts into something that makes sense? I don’t want any solutions.

Here’s what I got . The great thing about AI is you can keep asking it to write differently:

ADHD and Social Issues• Communication Problems: • Talking too much and not making sense • Not introducing topics • Confusing people completely • Interrupting • Asking questions and then not listening • Spacing out and not hearing people’s answers

Work Challenges• Listening Issues: • Can listen most of the time for the job • After listening, lose track and start going on and on

Emotional Impact• Mental Health: • Anxiety, stress, and depression • Trauma and fear

Daily Life Struggles• Writing and Organization: • Torture to write things • Torture to keep track of things • Meal Planning and Cooking: • No meal planning • Inconsistent cooking habits • Some days not cooking at all • Forgetting that someone in the house needs to eat • Household Management: • Messy kitchen • Inconsistent dishwashing and cleaning • Not knowing where anything is • Medication Management: • Frequently losing medications • Needing to have doctors prescribe new dosages due to lost medications

Time Management and Prioritization• Current Situation: • Often wasting time • Difficulty figuring out priorities • Struggling to decide what to do by a certain time

Routine and Habits• Yoga and Journaling: • Attends yoga class Tuesday mornings to avoid doing it at night • Was journaling every morning but stopped

Social Interaction Strategies• Conversation Tactics: • Trying to limit speech to one sentence or yes/no responses • Avoiding topics and talking to avoid going on and on

Appointments and Meetings• Managing Appointments: • Messed up appointments • Setting alarms for Zoom meetings but not checking the time • Keeping people waiting due to not noticing the time

This summary organizes the various challenges and experiences you’ve described, highlighting the main areas of difficulty related to ADHD.

Here’s Chat GPT version:

This time it’s totally messed up and tried to give me solutions to the problems mentioned. don’t bother reading it. Skip to my writing. I’ll post a different version of Chat GPT

Living with ADHD can indeed be challenging, particularly when it affects your ability to organize, communicate, and manage daily tasks. The experiences you’ve described—difficulty with social interactions, losing track of conversations, forgetting tasks, and feeling overwhelmed by daily responsibilities—are common among people with ADHD. Here are some strategies that might help

:1. Medication Management: If you’re on medication for ADHD, keeping a consistent schedule and using reminders can help. A pill organizer and setting alarms on your phone might reduce the risk of losing or forgetting medication. 2. Organizational Tools: Using planners, calendars, and apps can help keep track of appointments and tasks. Digital reminders and lists can be lifesavers for managing daily activities and responsibilities. 3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Regular mindfulness practice can improve focus and reduce the tendency to drift off during conversations. Apps like Headspace or Calm can guide you through meditation exercises. 4. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT can be very effective for managing ADHD symptoms. It can help you develop strategies for organization, time management, and improving social interactions. 5. Social Skills Training: Working with a therapist on social skills can help you learn how to manage conversations better, reduce interruptions, and improve listening skills. 6. Diet and Exercise: Regular physical activity and a balanced diet can improve overall mental health, which in turn can help manage ADHD symptoms. If meal planning is difficult, consider meal kits or simple, repeatable meals to reduce the cognitive load. 7. Routine and Structure: Establishing a consistent daily routine can create a sense of order and reduce the chaos. Even small routines, like setting a specific time for yoga or journaling, can provide structure. 8. Support Systems: Lean on friends, family, or support groups for help and understanding. Sometimes, simply having someone to share your struggles with can make a significant difference. 9. Professional Help: Working with a psychiatrist or psychologist who specializes in ADHD can provide you with tailored⬤

This is what I said:

More on ADHD, social issues, talking too much and not making sense, not introducing topics, confusing people completely, interrupting, asking questions and then not listening, spacing out and not hearing people’s answers. Supposed to listen for their job and most of the time can listen, but then after listening, completely lose track of listening and start going on and on. It’s so hard to describe and the anxiety and stress and depression and everything else that comes from it and the trauma and the fear are caused all by this. And it’s torture to write things. It’s torture to keep track of things. It’s torture. I don’t plan meals. I don’t go to the grocery store and pick things out and then go home and cook them. Some days I never cook. Some days I eat two things. Some days I forget that someone in my house needs to eat, so I look in the freezer and find something to heat up in the microwave. The kitchen is always a mess. Sometimes I do the dishes and clean it up. Sometimes I don’t. I have no idea where anything is. Right now I’m probably looking for four things. Twice I lost medications. Once I had to have the doctor prescribe a different dosage of the same medication because I had lost the rest of the medications. Then I completely lost another one the other day and I can’t find it anywhere. I just posted those pictures in my studio. Right now I’m probably wasting time. It’s quarter past five and I have until seven to figure out what the priorities are and what to do. I probably won’t figure them out. I do my yoga class Tuesday mornings and that means that I don’t have to think about doing yoga in the night. Otherwise, by ten o’clock I haven’t done my yoga. Ten, eleven, eleven-forty. For a while I was writing in a journal every morning when I woke up. Now I’m not doing it. I try very hard to deliberately not say much in a conversation and make a plan to say one sentence or yes or no and avoid topics, avoid talking. If I start talking, meaning to make sense and make it short, it just goes on. Do I change any of these things no matter how hard I try? Have I messed up appointments and even got a Zoom meeting all ready? I set an alarm for it and then someone’s going to be there in five minutes and suddenly they’re waiting because I haven’t looked up to see that it’s been five minutes and they’re ready to enter the Zoom in order to tell me that they think they have ADHD.

Are you really going to read both of these posts? I recommend reading this one although I posted the other one first.

Chat GPT is so great for my ADHD in so many ways. It can take that jumble I posted and actually organize it and make it clear to a person with a non ADHD brain.

Meals, cooking and eating- another great challenge, to be addressed another time. Here it is:

Understanding ADHD Through Personal Experience

In today’s world, it seems like everyone is convinced they have ADHD. They get distracted, have lots of ideas, and struggle to focus. But when you dig a bit deeper, many of these individuals don’t really exhibit ADHD behaviors—they’re problem solvers, they stick to tasks, and they maintain systems consistently. They might be distracted occasionally, but they don’t constantly misplace things or lose track of time. Any short-term memory issues they have are usually due to anxiety or stress rather than a lack of structure.

People often misunderstand what ADHD truly entails. For example, my life is a series of constant changes and reorganizations. I can never stick to a system for long. I frequently change where I place things, never keeping items in one consistent spot. This is not typical behavior for someone without ADHD. For instance, I can’t even stick to a schedule for simple tasks like cleaning the bathroom. I make plans, but if something stressful happens, those plans fall apart.

My attempts at organization are often short-lived. I try different methods for handling paperwork, but none stick. Even tasks as crucial as filing taxes become a chaotic endeavor, often left to the last minute, filled with repeated attempts and rework. Misplacing items like keys and phones is a daily struggle, despite my attempts to establish a consistent place for them.

In my art studio, the chaos is evident. I’ve changed the layout countless times, moved everything except the file drawers, and tried different organizational systems only to abandon them. My painting process is similarly disorganized. I start with a plan, but end up changing my mind repeatedly, leaving pieces in various stages of completion. Some parts are finished, others are not, and I constantly rethink my approach.

ADHD is a daily challenge, impacting everything from my artwork to my ability to respond to texts appropriately. I try to manage it with reminders and schedules, but consistency remains elusive.

The misunderstanding around ADHD often leads people to believe they have it when they’re just experiencing normal levels of distraction or stress. ADHD is more than that—it’s a persistent pattern of inattention and hyperactivity​⬤

I dictated this into Chat GPT: these are all my words. At the end I say I’m reading it when I meant to say I’m basically talking and recording.

Here’s my long winded group of disorganized thoughts about some aspects of ADHD:

I’m trying to write an article for WordPress. I don’t need it to sound too much different from me. It’s really something when someone thinks they have ADHD and they’re so much the opposite of someone who has ADHD. And they’re so worried that they can’t focus on things, they have too many ideas, and I don’t even know what else they think. And then I question them, and they’re problem solvers. They are sticking to one thing. They know how to stay with the system and keep it that way. They don’t keep changing. They don’t do anything ADHD besides get distracted and don’t like when they have a lot of time to get distracted and look up things that convince them they have ADHD. They don’t misplace things constantly. Any memory loss short-term is caused by anxiety and stress of not having structure. It’s interesting how convinced everybody can get that they have ADHD. They have no idea what really it constitutes. How many times have I changed where I put things in any situation? How I organize the studio, where I put things, where everything is. Start labeling the drawers with what’s in them and then stop. Change what’s in the file drawers. What else? Things are a mess. Sometimes I clean them up. Sometimes I don’t. I try to say every Monday I’ll clean the bathroom. It doesn’t happen. Something happens that is bad and so then I’m like, I don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom. I’m too tired and stressed out. I constantly find systems for doing paperwork and then it never works. I don’t hand in my taxes on time. It’s miraculous that I’m working on them and will get them in hopefully a couple of months before the October 15th date. Because a couple of years I was up on October 14th until the last minute completely confused not having finished the taxes and suddenly not being able to do the last step. I started working on the taxes and then stopped for a long time and then started working on them again and redid some of the things I already did. How many times have I lost my keys? How many times am I looking in my bag for my phone and say, I’m always going to put it here. Then I change where I put everything. These are not things that regular people do. They don’t keep putting things in different places. If they decide to put their phone always in one place, they keep it always in one place. They’re not impulsive and react impulsively every time they try to not. There are so many things on a daily basis that are so challenging and you keep trying in so many ways to change things and make them easier and then part of you is so lazy and can’t deal with it and cannot stay consistent. I have this series of paintings and the process would be create the collage ground on top of something that will hang on the wall. Glue it all together until you have the exact shape you want. Then cover it with white gesso paint. Then sew around the edges completely. Then use the oil paint on top and figure out exactly what you want to put on it and what the sort of pattern is that keeps all the pieces together. I have a piece up on the wall that has a broken piece on it that I tried several different things on top of with paint and I changed my mind several times, restarted, stopped. I have another piece that seems to have all the sewing around it. Then I have a piece that keeps getting bigger and I had painted all on top of it, sewed around one piece, not the other. Then I ripped it up again. Then I have another one that looks like it could be finished, but I haven’t gotten back to it to make it consistently what I want it to be. So it’s part of one painting and part of another painting. Then there’s pieces that aren’t covered. I say to myself, okay, it seems like this is what you’ve developed. Now you take an old canvas or piece of wood board so that you have something to hang on the wall. Then you glue all the pieces of paper and random stuff on it. Then you cover it with white gesso. Then you sew around the edges after you make sure you know what the shape is. I have something on the wall right now that I put the back on such that I can’t turn it the way I want it to be. I can’t even describe all the mess that is going on and not organizing my time in order to make art. I have a big sign here that says, Stop Nothing Silence. I’m supposed to get a text, not answer it for at least half an hour unless it needs to be answered right away. Maybe I should wait 10 minutes and set an alarm because I already answered probably two texts today too quickly, which got me slightly into trouble. This is just like a constant. If I took a picture of my studio right now, I have been in here since August of 2022, and everything in here has been moved except the file drawers. I have reorganized and disorganized everything. I’ll just put pictures in this post. These people don’t have ADHD. They have a hard time focusing sometimes. They get distracted. They forget things. They don’t have this problem, and they don’t do the same thing over and over or the same thing differently. I’ve had to accept that my way of doing things is just completely disorganized. It’s my studio, and no one else has to care about it, so the only place that I can do this is my studio where it has no consequences except cleaning it up for when someone comes in here. If I watch the news constantly for several weeks and get completely freaked out about it, then I’ll stop reading the news whatsoever and ignore what’s going on. Then I’ll decide to try and listen to NPR. This is ADHD, a daily struggle. How often am I going to make these posts? I’ll decide I’m going to post once a week. I’ll decide I’m going to post three times a week. I post, then I don’t post on a blog for a month or two. Then I post every day. Then I decide nobody’s reading Forget It. Then I decide nobody’s reading great. I’ll just post another post. What am I posting about? Should I organize the topics? For a while it was like just post five sentences so that you don’t get into trouble like with this particular article that I’m reading out loud.

The language we use to discuss political solutions is crucial, and the phrase “two-state solution” has long been at the center of debates concerning Israel and Palestine. However, this terminology is problematic and requires reconsideration, especially in light of recent events and historical context.

After October 7th, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu used the term “cleanse,” a word that should be eradicated from our vocabulary given its association with “ethnic cleansing.” This choice of language is not only insensitive but also deeply troubling. Ethnic cleansing is a grave crime against humanity, and using such terminology in political discourse is both irresponsible and inflammatory.

The idea of the “two-state solution” is also fraught with issues. The notion that the establishment of a Palestinian state is a “solution” to a “problem” is fundamentally flawed. Palestinians are not a problem to be solved; they are a stateless people whose right to self-determination must be recognized. The current framing suggests that both states—Israel and a potential Palestine—are on equal footing, when in reality, there is already an established Israeli state. The issue at hand is the recognition and establishment of a Palestinian state.

Referring to it as a “two-state solution” overlooks the existing imbalance of power and the historical context. The focus should be on the recognition and creation of a Palestinian state, addressing the needs and rights of the Palestinian people who have been stateless since being displaced from their land between the river and the sea.

Therefore, the conversation should shift from the ambiguous “two-state solution” to a more precise dialogue about recognizing and establishing the State of Palestine. This reframing acknowledges the historical injustice faced by Palestinians, the current genocide and urgent need to address famine, destruction and everything else Israel has perpetrated on innocent civilians and emphasizes the necessity of their right to statehood without implying that their existence is a problem needing a solution.

Recognizing the State of Palestine is not a “solution”; it’s a response to their state being taken for the founding of Israel and historic displacement of a whole people-a fundamental step toward justice and equity in the region. This perspective is often seen as controversial, but upon examining the history and the language used, it becomes clear that a shift in discourse is essential. The establishment of a Palestinian state should be viewed as an imperative step towards peace and justice, rather than a contentious solution to a perceived problem.

The History of My Studios and the Current One

My current studio is located at 39 John Street, suite 3A, on the third floor. It’s the second studio I’ve had on this floor. Previously, I occupied studio number 5, which was larger and even had its own bathroom. However, I eventually downsized to my current space, the first studio near the kitchen, where I’ve been since August 2023, if my memory serves me right.

Lately, I’ve been feeling completely boxed in here. It feels as though I need to wear a hazmat suit to work, constantly at risk of getting paint on my clothing at any moment. I’m working on a big project that requires oil paint for the final layer, which adds to my frustration. There simply isn’t enough room to lay the piece on the floor and work on it comfortably.

I recently realized that one of my large paintings isn’t oriented properly. It needs to be turned to the left and hung horizontally, but the prospect of doing so is daunting. The painting is gigantic and already has an intimidating presence, almost alien-like. If I were to describe it vividly, I’d say it feels like it might come off the wall and suffocate me or grab me from behind.

{Reflecting on this, I’m reminded{few videos I made featuring similar pieces that I shared on Facebook, which were well-received.} That sentence was Chat GPT changing my writing; I actually found a name to name it by a name generator and forgot what it was.

Our family tradition in naming hard drives and headphones “Mumathunara”=my black Bose headphones, fishing for words in Joyce’s Finnegan’s Wake.

My studio distorted looking twice as large…

This got me thinking: what if I used this constrained space to create videos about these pieces overtaking me and taking over the studio? However, the challenge remains that these pieces are all wet, requiring me to wear a different outfit to avoid ruining my clothes. Taking them off the walls could potentially turn the studio into a chaotic mess.

This is a WordPress post I’m dictating to ChatGPT. I’ve discovered that it’s much easier to handle paperwork with its help. So, I’m trying this method for my post and will add photos afterward.

Has everyone forgotten the COVID year of not just fear but living in a horror movie not sure when it would end?

I got the first line thinking how fast spring is rushing by and seems too fleeting, I’m running after it yelling Slow the fuck down; only today has it sunken in. Here’s the poem. I go from spring to death pretty quickly but that’s the thing about nature; it’s like the myth of Persephone; the underworld is always lurking around the corner…

Spring came on like thunder;

I almost missed it.

Couples intertwined on benches,

Chess matches in the park,

The boards painted green and white,

Neon blue blush pink sunset on Facebook –

Something I could paint.

Just 4 years ago we couldn’t go outside;

The very air could not be breathed:

Hidden deadly droplets in it.

When I wash my hands, I think of the 20 seconds I stopped counting.

Remembering a summer of death.

Summer now creeps up as the sun gives a warm hug;

Back to humans splattering blood across the warm spring daffodils.

Just write this one; I got back from vacation yesterday. Reading real poets’ poems is humbling/inspiring…

Who is she?

It took me 50 odd years to really look in the mirror;

I used to feel afraid of the person on the other side. Am I still:

Who is she?

Where does she go while I sleep?

Do her eyes see in all directions?

Do they split duty guarding my other face through the night?

Or is she another language

Like a tongue twisted in a vice?

Has she lived other lives-

A boy picking pockets for a piece of bread?

A 1920s flapper dancing at Gatsby like parties?

A loud audience member throwing food at actors in Shakespeare time?

Or is she the bringer of my day count, wrinkling slowly, surprising me with a sinking face?

Does she know when I’ll die?

She is a stranger to me; I stare now-as afraid of her as falling off a horse, dying in a fire, dying soon…always surprised by the real age she shows me.

How can I be this old? Time made a deal with her and sneaks up behind me, a Spector.

Flowers in my hair,

Umbrellas everywhere,

A pen that doesn’t work,

Eating cookies in a dream.

Things are not what they seem.