This is

The only social media I do. Pinterest became awful. Pinterest. Why did they do that? Everywhere is ads.

Anyway I’m completely killed by working at home. I go outside to take out the garbage. I barely move. I stopped doing yoga. It hardly matters what I wear. I have so little energy it feels stupid to eat. Why would I need to eat much if I stay home all the time. I didn’t go anywhere this weekend. On two errands nearby. I was so spaced out I nearly stole something from target by mistake. Sometimes I pick something up or buy something and leave it on the counter.

My back hurts. My head hurts. I spent the last hours playing a stupid phone game. I don’t want to read, watch anything listen to anything draw do art nothing

And I have to get up tomorrow and do my stupid job sitting all day being a therapist. This is what I’ve done with my Priveleged life.

What a waste. I’m depressed. Was it worse to be anxious out of my mind doing paperwork to hand in to lawyers or lying in bed wanting to sleep for a few months.

I’m going to get Alzheimers. My body already hurts or is uncomfortable. I’d like to get rid of it. The universe is going to give me my mom’s disease and I’ll lose my mind forever. I don’t want to be her. Please don’t give me Alzheimer’s. I have every other problem and my adhd almost got me arrested for stealing yesterday. I wonder if they would have understood that I had no intention of taking anything. Maybe I’d be in jail. Whatever. Depression is a jail.