Friday

I removed the last two posts. Tonight at a Zoom session of artists I realized I’m still insecure about my art after 32 years of my artist career, that I’m totally confused about my writing and that I’ve been confused about my writing since 11th grade when I did my writer’s journal, probably the one thing I’ve lost that I would want back. That I now have even more ways I express myself which is good in terms of realizing I can’t be stuck if I’m making something. I was making a daily comic for a long time that I dropped; I’ve begun a photo essay that I kind of like but it’s in the early part of doing it and figuring out what it will be. I’ve been making TikTok puppet videos after work using hand made dolls. I’m making building drawings again; I’m sort of figuring out my mandala multimedia project. I for a few days felt like I gave no idea what I’m drawing and painting. I started abstract collage with drawing today and pulled out my oval construction piece.

I started writing something with words at least during the zoom. After the zoom which was hard to do; everyone had museum and gallery shows and coherent art about one concept. Luckily I just listened as I hadn’t contributed slides.

Somehow after I got very excited and inspired and realized just being in a group of artists talking about their process has a magical effect on me abd helps me get unstuck- I was surprised that after feeling small and weird and outsider artist of the bunch, not quite enjoying it, it had a great effect anyway.

I got out my big collage thing that isn’t sure if it’s a painting or mixed media or whatever and made a TikTok and left with a good feeling. I texted my new artist friend who couldn’t go to the zoom and was grateful that I have an awesome newish friend I met in an artist pairing and we hit it off. I can be myself with her and I love her art.

So there’s lots to be grateful for. My 14 year old came by the studio this afternoon and we did our nails and talked. I watched a lot of tv abd stayed up super later than my 10-12pm bedtime. I tried to upload a TikTok but it’s not working. Here’s a recent from my series. I hope it’s not a repeat. Good night!💤