Day 8 Driving Lessons

I can’t remember if I’ve written about my driving lessons. I got the permit in 2019 and then did a 9 month DBT class, so my plan was to wait as the class was not that costly but also time consuming.

Of course as with the dentist, I’m finally ready to pay for lessons and COVID happens. I actually had a dentist and other medical appointment right after I stopped working at my studio and locked down fully at home. I didn’t trust taking the lessons til recently because of COVID. So today is my third lesson.

Why do I need a license? Was it taken away? No because I’ve never had one. I took lessons around age 18 and failed the first test. Then I took more lessons on a summer break from college. We even went on highways. I failed the test again and decided I didn’t need a license being in Cambridge for Harvard. Like in NYC, you don’t need a car and you’re better off without one in both places in your 20s at least. Suddenly fast forward 30ish years and I hit 50 in 2018 and start planning to get the license. I found a place with a teacher that can deal with a very anxious older person with ADHD and extreme driving phobia. I needed a special kind of teacher as I can’t learn with someone yelling at me, talking fast and criticizing me constantly.

My first lesson was a few weeks ago. As I have driving anxiety and phobia of driving due to my ADHD ; don’t judge. I’m great on airplanes and love them; I think they’re fun. Usually people who have airplane phobia love driving as they’re in control of the vehicle. I take plane phobia seriously and have worked with clients on it. It’s a phobia not grounded in reality completely due to statistics showing it’s way more dangerous to get in a car than an airplane. I don’t have the numbers.

Some of my driving anxiety is grounded in reality. Lots of car accidents happen daily, some due to bad or aggressive or drunk driving, some just by shitty luck. How many people die a year due to a car crash, being hit by a car on foot or riding a bike.

I’ve had 2 clients with major trauma and chronic physical ailments due to being hit by a car, one on foot and one on a bicycle.

Out of 26 lessons, I’m about to have lesson 3: I dread the lessons but look forward to them to hopefully improve despite hating driving. I’m nervous before and during the lessons. There’s so much to focus on and do and there are all these things around to avoid hitting and a million things to do at once.